I was caught off guard when I first saw a commercial for the Special Edition Barack Obama Chia Pet a few minutes ago. Up until the last two seconds I was convinced it was a hoax, being as how I was watching the commercial on Comedy Central. Yet, alas, it is a real product that some person has designed, created, manufactured, boxed and is currently taking pre-orders for.

We’ve seen the Obama Action Figure, crappy Obama Commemorative Coins and Ty’s uncalled for Sweet Sasha, Marvelous Malia dolls, so I guess we should expect anything. You can take the Obama Chia (availiable in Determined Chia Obama or Happy Chia Obama facial expressions) as offensive, funny, stupid or a must have. I think we can all agree that these are very, very strange times in which we live.

Why wasn’t there ever a Millard Fillmore Chia?

Chia Obama [chiaobama.com]

Did you know you aren’t Ticketmaster’s primary customer? Sure, you and your friends bought 141 million tickets last year, but Ticketmaster’s loyalty belongs to their true customers: venues and promoters. Ticketmaster secures its monopoly by goading them into multi-year agreements that empower Ticketmaster to act as their exclusive vendor. In exchange, Ticketmaster gives them money. Lots and lots of money. Several million dollars upfront, sometimes.

Click the link below for the full, eye opening article.

Ticketmaster Is Evil And Must Die [Consumerist.com]

The tribulation came in when trying to contact the Petco.com “Customer Support.” Contact forms found on Petco.com, which idiotically limit your complaint to only 1500 characters, once submitted, apparently get delivered to Pluto, because I received no response. Fed up with the contact forms, I went searching for an actual physical email address. Naturally, none exist anywhere on Petco.com. The email listed on my packing slip, cs@orders.petco.com, turned out to be invalid. Finally, I found through Google references to orders@petco.com, decided to give it a shot, and finally got through to someone.

So, hey Petco, thanks for living up to the Live Food 100% guarantee and giving me a refund, but if you’re not going to check your website form submissions, how about listing some email address on your site? Woof.

If you’ve ever wondered what 300 dead waxworms look like, today is your lucky day!

I recently ordered, for the first and now last time, live reptile food (waxworms, specifically) directly from Petco.com. You see, my pet box turtle loves eating the things. In fact, she will eat nothing else. I regularly buy waxworms from the Petco brick-and-mortar stores where a container of 50, which lasts about a week, goes for about $6.00. Online they sell them in containers of 500 for $20.00 + $8.00 shipping. I did the math, found a 10% off coupon from RetailMeNot, and the 500 container seemed like a deal, so I ordered them.

I realistically didn’t expect to receive all 500 of the little buggers perfectly unharmed. However, a box filled with miniature death is not what I had in mind. After sorting out the survivors, I would say at least 60% arrived in black, sticky clumps, which you see in the above image filled 2 plastic containers near to the brim. The smell was hardly describable, it could only be equated to what one would imagine how 300 miniature rotting human corpses would smell.

Needless to say, I am one peeved consumer. I’ve currently got a Customer Service request into Petco.com regarding this, and you’d better believe I sent them this image to enjoy as well. I’ll keep everyone updated.*

*as if we had any readers…
…but if we do, let us know your online ordering horror stories in the comments!